Sunday Morning

[peroxidepirate]

A quick (1000 word) fic set during Buffy Season 3, Joyce pays Rupert Giles a visit.

Sunday Morning

I spent the rest of the week telling myself it was just the candy, but by Saturday night I had to face the obvious: I was crazy about Rupert Giles. I knew, of course, that things could get messy if it didn't work out. But that didn't stop me from thinking about him -- wanting him -- constantly.

Sunday morning, at an hour when adults are usually awake and teenagers aren't, I parked my car in front of Rupert's building. I was suddenly nervous. Ok. I'm just in the neighborhood, on my way from home to work, and thought I'd drop by. I'm on my way to brunch before I open the gallery. Perfectly casual, no pressure. What do you say?

I knew he'd see right through it. He either felt the same, or he didn't. But at least I'd get to find out which.

I got out of the car.

I knocked and started counting seconds.

Rupert opened the door.

He was dressed in grey striped pajamas, but his hair was combed and his face shaven, so I knew he'd been awake for at least a little while. "Joyce," he said, evidently surprised to see me. "Come in, please. Would you care for some tea?"

I smiled, stepping close as he held the door for me, but not quite touching him as I passed. "I'd love some."

He bustled about in the kitchen for a moment, then returned with a steaming mug. "Cream and sugar are on the table."

"Thank you."

"Is everything all right?" He pushed his glasses up on his nose. "Is Buffy--?"

"She's fine," I interrupted. "Home in bed, sleeping off a hard night's slaying." I set my mug down on the dining table. "This isn't about her." I waited until Rupert met my eyes before I continued. "I wondered if you'd like to have brunch with me. Or dinner this evening, if you've already eaten?"

He glanced away, twitching with nerves, and began to clean his glasses. "Joyce, I'd by lying if I said I don't find you to be a lovely and charming woman--"

"-- But you're going to refuse my invitation," I said softly.

"Well, yes."

"I see." I picked up my mug, sipping some tea. I was surprised to find my hands steady. I wasn't nervous anymore -- but I was hurt. "Can I trouble you for an explanation? I realize we weren't ourselves that night, but even so, I thought the connection between us was real..."

"It was."

"Then why not?"

He put his glasses back on and looked at me. "Because of Buffy."

I blinked, taken completely aback. "I've heard that one before. But coming from the man who's become like a father to her, pardon me if I'm even more confused."

He sighed, looking away. "I am not, and will never be, a father to her."

He looked so uncomfortable, trying not to meet my eyes, that a terrifying thought occurred to me. I took two quick steps toward him, moving close enough to smell tea and mouthwash on his breath, and looked into his face. "Rupert Giles, if you have designs on my daughter--" I threatened.

"What?" He was so clearly alarmed, staring back at me with complete honesty. "No, I assure you, it's not that."

"Then what?"

"I'm her watcher, Joyce. It's true that, like a parent, my job is sometimes to guide and counsel her. It's true that I love her. But my relationship with Buffy -- like all that I do and all that I am -- is ultimately responsible to my sacred duty to the Council of Watchers. It is not my job to protect her, it is my job to see that she fights where she is needed. There will come a time when I must place her in harm's way, even more than I already have, whether she is ready or not." He looked away, absently toying with the tea things. "I'll lose her then -- either she'll die, because she did as I asked. Or she'll survive, and live to see what I did to her, and her trust in me will be shattered and our relationship will be broken beyond repair."

"Oh my," I whispered.

"And care to wager a guess at what will happen then to anything you and I might form?"

"Rupert," I breathed.

One word, it hung in the air between us until he tore off his glasses and slammed them down on the table so hard I'm astonished they didn't break.

The suddenness of his movement galvanized me. I rushed into his arms, and he kissed me, and both of us knew this was the last time. I poured my soul into that kiss, and felt his answer, and when we finally broke apart I was dizzy and he was breathless and those pajamas were so thin and it was all I could do to tear myself away from him.

It was pride, and only pride, gave me strength. I knew, having stated his case and made his decision, he would never give in to lust or even love. If I tried to, he would reject me -- he had rejected me already. So we would both be strong. For Buffy.

I adjusted my sweater and smoothed my hair, while Rupert put his glasses back on. When we were both a little more composed, I looked at him. "Know this, Rupert Giles. When that day comes that you think you need to put my little girl in danger, I will do everything in my power to protect her. And if that means opposing your council, and your sacred duty, and you -- so be it."

He looked steadily back. "I'm glad. She deserves that much, and it kills me that I can't be the one to do it."

I gave him a sad smile. "I'll tell her you said that. When the day comes."

"Thank you."

I nodded, turned around, and went out. The door clicked shut behind me, with Rupert Giles behind it.

Comments

[not-purrrfect.livejournal.com]

That was just amazing! Really captured them both so well. I ♥ it.

[peroxidepirate.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I get the impression that, after season 2, Giles chose to avoid romantic relationships ('orgasm friends' notwithstanding), while Joyce was still trying to date. Made me start imagining how they could have resolved things after Band Candy.

[lavastar.livejournal.com]

O.O Man. That was sad! In a good way, of course. :P

[peroxidepirate.livejournal.com]

Awww... I'm kind of a sucker for tragic love, so I couldn't not write it. I'm glad it seemed like a good kind of sad. Thanks for commenting!

[lavastar.livejournal.com]

I'm kind of a sucker for tragic love

LOL, good thing you're in the Joss fandom, then. :P

But fo realz, everyone knows tragic love is the best kind. ^-^

[starryoblivion]

Oh wow, that was really lovely. It spoke a lot on their friendly - albeit somewhat awkward - relationship later on in the series, especially in terms of Giles' reaction to Joyce's death. It gives everything a new kind of depth.

Thanks for writing this. ^^

[peroxidepirate.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I can't bring myself to re-watch the first couple of eps. after Joyce's death, so I'm glad to hear this fits in. :)