fic: Sugar

[peroxidepirate]

Title: Sugar
Rating: PG
Fandom: Angel: The Series
Disclaimer: These characters and their universe are not owned by me.
Characters: Cordelia, Wesley, Angel
Summary: Late in AtS: S1, Cordelia's trying to make a cup of coffee -- but it's never that easy at Angel Investigations. (Fanwank: what makes vampires gain weight, anyway?)



"Morning," Cordelia called into the office. She reached for the coffee pot. She filled her mug just over halfway, took a carton of half-and-half out of the mini-fridge, and added a generous amount of that. Then she picked up a small glass sugar canister and tipped it over her mug.

Nothing came out.

"Empty again?" she said. "I just filled it." She examined the shelf that held beverage supplies. It contained coffee, tea, napkins, a few spoons, and at least eight unopened, pastel-colored boxes of sugar substitute -- but no sugar.

The door to the inner office opened, and Wesley came in, sipping something from his own mug.

"Did you do this?" Cordelia demanded, brandishing the empty sugar canister.

"What?"

"It's empty. Did you use it up?"

Wesley peered. "What was in it?"

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Sugar."

"Gulgh!" He shuddered. "Why would I put sugar in my tea?"

"Well, it wasn't me. And if it wasn't you, that only leaves--"

"Angel," Wes said, as the door to the inner office opened again.

"Morning," Angel said. He, too, was carrying a mug. He reached past Cordelia and took a spoon from the beverage shelf. He gave the contents of his mug a stir, and when he lifted the spoon it dripped a thick, sludgy, grainy red substance. "Hmm. Thought it was supposed to dissolve." He licked the spoon.

"It was you! You used it all up." Cordy held up the sugar canister again.

"I bought more," Angel said, plaintively.

Cordy crossed her arms. "You used up the sugar, and now we only have that pink stuff."

Angel froze, spoon halfway to his mouth. "It's actual sugar?"

"Duh."

"That explains this," Angel muttered, looking down as he patted his stomach. "I thought it was the no-calorie stuff..." He looked back at Cordy. "And aren't you a diet soda girl? Since when do you go for drinks with a positive calorie count?"

"Since I found out my food budget doesn't stretch that far in L. A.," she snapped. "If we had any sugar, I could put a whole meal's worth of calories in here." She tapped her mug.

"Gulgh," Wesley said again. He took another sip of his black, unadulterated tea.

"And why are you putting sugar in your blood, anyway?"

Angel looked away, sheepishly. "I hate pig's blood," he said. "It's so... smokey. Doesn't taste a thing like... the real thing. It's not... sweet."

"Ew."

Angel shrugged. "You asked."

Wesley looked up from his tea "Ever try cow's blood?"

"Huh." Angel tipped his head. "Never thought of it."

Comments

[gigi-tastic.livejournal.com]

"ever try cows blood?" I always wondered why they only drink pigs blood!

[peroxidepirate.livejournal.com]

Thanks for commenting!