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peroxidepirateThere are a ton of reasons to like Buffy the Vampire Slayer: it's more feminist than 90% of TV, the fight scenes are action-packed, the repartee is witty, the girls are cute, the characters are allowed to grow and change, and the plots (usually) make sense. So it's pretty much inevitable that I'd become a fan.
But the thing that caused me to become obsessed, the thing that sunk into my hind-brain and made me dream about the Buffy-verse until I started writing and reading fanfic, isn't any of these.
The thing that made me obsessed is Angel's story of guilt, atonement, and redemption.
Let me start by saying that, like most people, I've done some things I'm not proud of. I've taken advantage of people I didn't love, and failed to be there for the people I did. I've had my priorities completely screwed up, I've failed in responsibilities, I've made bad decisions. I carry this knowledge with me every day.
I also read a lot, I watch a lot of movies, and though I don't watch a ton of TV, I do keep my eyes open for things that appeal to me. I was a communications major in college (the first time), and I love analyzing pop culture.
So I've noticed that the majority of our popular media is from the POV of the "good guy" -- the one who gets taken advantage of, the one who gets her or his heart broken, the one who does the right thing. And that's fine. You want the audience to sympathize with your characters. You want your characters to be liked.
We also have a tendency to identify with the main character, or her or his "good" sidekicks, in whatever we watch or read. Again, from a purely entertainment perspective, that's fine.
The thing that's missing, though, is the understanding that for every victim there is a perpetrator. For every person who's been done wrong, there's someone who's done wrong. And all of us have been that someone, too.
Popular culture, which I criticize because I love it so, teaches us to see ourselves as victims, to focus on the wrongs that others have done to us. That's not wrong. There is power in facing up to the truth. When someone has belittled or abused you, you deserve and need to stand up and say, "This was done to me and it is wrong."
But the opposite is also true. When the shoe is on the other foot, the only way you can start to make it better is to stand up and say, "I did this and it was wrong."
Most pop culture villains never do this at all -- whether it's the jerk who cheated on his girlfriend or the monster who tried to kill everyone, they don't realize that they did wrong. Darth Vader does, and then he dies. But Angel admits guilt and lives with it. That's the message I needed to hear.
Now that I've seen every episode of Buffy, I know that Angel's plight is far from unique. Lots of characters in the Buffyverse are both heroes and villains, and I love that. But Angel was the first.
Angel tortured and killed tons of people, and as I see it, the mark that left on him never really goes away. Giles doesn't trust him after season 2, and although Buffy loves him again, she can't ever forget what he is. Angel considers suicide, but ultimately he lives with the guilt, the consequences, the knowledge of the pain he caused to people he cared about -- and he goes on trying to do what's right. And I think that's the right idea.
But the thing that caused me to become obsessed, the thing that sunk into my hind-brain and made me dream about the Buffy-verse until I started writing and reading fanfic, isn't any of these.
The thing that made me obsessed is Angel's story of guilt, atonement, and redemption.
Let me start by saying that, like most people, I've done some things I'm not proud of. I've taken advantage of people I didn't love, and failed to be there for the people I did. I've had my priorities completely screwed up, I've failed in responsibilities, I've made bad decisions. I carry this knowledge with me every day.
I also read a lot, I watch a lot of movies, and though I don't watch a ton of TV, I do keep my eyes open for things that appeal to me. I was a communications major in college (the first time), and I love analyzing pop culture.
So I've noticed that the majority of our popular media is from the POV of the "good guy" -- the one who gets taken advantage of, the one who gets her or his heart broken, the one who does the right thing. And that's fine. You want the audience to sympathize with your characters. You want your characters to be liked.
We also have a tendency to identify with the main character, or her or his "good" sidekicks, in whatever we watch or read. Again, from a purely entertainment perspective, that's fine.
The thing that's missing, though, is the understanding that for every victim there is a perpetrator. For every person who's been done wrong, there's someone who's done wrong. And all of us have been that someone, too.
Popular culture, which I criticize because I love it so, teaches us to see ourselves as victims, to focus on the wrongs that others have done to us. That's not wrong. There is power in facing up to the truth. When someone has belittled or abused you, you deserve and need to stand up and say, "This was done to me and it is wrong."
But the opposite is also true. When the shoe is on the other foot, the only way you can start to make it better is to stand up and say, "I did this and it was wrong."
Most pop culture villains never do this at all -- whether it's the jerk who cheated on his girlfriend or the monster who tried to kill everyone, they don't realize that they did wrong. Darth Vader does, and then he dies. But Angel admits guilt and lives with it. That's the message I needed to hear.
Now that I've seen every episode of Buffy, I know that Angel's plight is far from unique. Lots of characters in the Buffyverse are both heroes and villains, and I love that. But Angel was the first.
Angel tortured and killed tons of people, and as I see it, the mark that left on him never really goes away. Giles doesn't trust him after season 2, and although Buffy loves him again, she can't ever forget what he is. Angel considers suicide, but ultimately he lives with the guilt, the consequences, the knowledge of the pain he caused to people he cared about -- and he goes on trying to do what's right. And I think that's the right idea.