mirrors, windows, and hope

[peroxidepirate]

There's some discourse, right now, about identifying with characters: how does identifying, or not identifying, with a character influence your relationship with the story that character appears in? Is identifying with a character a good thing, or a bad thing, or neither?

I never thought much about this before, and it most definitely never occurred to me that identifying with a character could be problematic (although I have known people to over-identify with characters, which is clearly unhealthy). But one of the things I love about fandom is that it (or more precisely, each person in it) has the capacity to make me think in a way I never did before.

So I've been thinking about identifying with characters, which led me to make the following comment on this thought-provoking entry by green_maia :

I suppose I need to understand (some of) the characters in order to be interested in the story, and it's easier for me to understand a character I can partially identify with (though it is best if it's only a partial identification).

But really, it depends on what direction I need to grow at a given time. If I'm in a place where I'm already looking inward, I need the balance of stories that take me outside of myself. That works best when you can experience the story as a window instead of a mirror.

But there have also been times when I've gone months or even years without properly acknowledging my interior self, without dealing with my emotions, while focusing too much on how other people feel. Identifying with characters -- with Willow, with Tamora Pierce's Kel, with your Gifts-verse William -- has helped put me back in touch with my emotional center. It's an acutely painful process, sometimes, but I like to think it has led (or is leading?) me back to a place where I don't need the mirror, so I can honestly experience looking through the window again.

I feel like that question -- is it a window or a mirror? am I identifying or empathizing? -- is kind of a central issue in how we relate to fiction. I believe most of us need both, in different ways and at different times. I believe we can find both, can feel equally passionate about both. For those of us who write or draw or make films, I believe we should create both.

I've been back in internet fandom(s) for almost a year and a half now. I spent the first year of that time using it as a mirror to look inside myself and understand what I found. I needed that. Now, there are still moments of that. But I'm in transition; I'm remembering how to look through the window instead. This is the change I could not define; this is what I meant when I said, a few months back, that I'm moving toward "real" writing.

Writing something that's like a mirror -- a protagonist who's like me, a story that resolves issues I have or gives the protagonist something I want -- is self-therapy. The results are useful. Sometimes the end product is pleasing. But it's not art.

Writing something that's like a window -- a protagonist who is a genuine character and has his or her own identity, and a story that stems from that character and his or her situation -- is art. A craft. Real writing.

That's where I'm hoping to go. Trickster's Pawn, though there's still a lot of me in it, is the beginning.

This is a really good place to mention my current default icon, which contains the text, "I build my days out of hope." The image is from the terrible Spartacus mini-series, which I couldn't keep watching even for Lucy Lawless. The words are a choice made out of foolhardy optimism: sometimes it seems like hope is all I have, and since I'm fighting a tooth-and-nail battle with depression, my grip on hope is hardly secure. Seeing the icon always makes me a tiny bit happier, and a tiny bit more hopeful.

"I build my days out of hope" comes from the Ani Difranco song "Overlap." Here are the rest of the lyrics (emphasis mine):

I search your profile for a translation
I study the conversation like a map
`cause I know there is strength
in the differences between us
and I know there is comfort
where we overlap

come here
stand in front of the light
stand still so I can see your sillouette
I hope you have got all night
`cause I`m not done looking,
no, I`m not done looking yet

each one of us
wants a piece of the action
you can hear it in what we say
you can see it in what we do
we negotiate with chaos
for some sense of satisfaction
if you won`t give it to me
at least give me a better view

come here, stand in front of the light
stand still so I can see your sillouette
I hope you have got all night
`cause I`m not done looking
no, I`m not done looking yet

I build each one of my songs out of glass
so you can see me inside of them, I suppose
or you could just leave the image of me
in the background, I guess
and watch your own reflection superimposed

I build each one of my days out of hope
and I give that hope your name
and I don`t know you that well
but it don`t take much to tell
either you don`t have the balls
or you don`t feel the same

come here, stand in front of the light
stand still, so I can see your sillouette
I hope you have got all night
`cause I`m not done looking
no, I`m not done looking yet

I search your profile for a translation
I study the conversation like a map
`cause I know there is strength
in the differences between us
and I know there is comfort
where we overlap


It's a song about windows and mirrors, similarities and differences. And hope. Which I think is kind of perfect.

Comments

[green-maia.livejournal.com]

although I have known people to over-identify with characters, which is clearly unhealthy

I don't think it's unhealthy all the time. There are times in a person's life (particularly adolescence) when it can be a good thing. I know that there have been times in my life when over-identifying with a fictional character was EXACTLY what I needed to do.


that question -- is it a window or a mirror? am I identifying or empathizing? -- is kind of a central issue in how we relate to fiction.

Yes.


I believe most of us need both, in different ways and at different times.

Yes.


I believe we can find both, can feel equally passionate about both.

Yes.


Writing something that's like a mirror -- a protagonist who's like me, a story that resolves issues I have or gives the protagonist something I want -- is self-therapy. The results are useful. Sometimes the end product is pleasing. But it's not art.

Writing something that's like a window -- a protagonist who is a genuine character and has his or her own identity, and a story that stems from that character and his or her situation -- is art. A craft. Real writing.

Yes.


It's a song about windows and mirrors, similarities and differences. And hope. Which I think is kind of perfect.

Yes.



Thank you for posting this.

Would you mind if I link to it?

[peroxidepirate.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't mind at all!

Would it be all right for me to link back to your entry on the subject?

[green-maia.livejournal.com]

Would it be all right for me to link back to your entry on the subject?

I wouldn't mind at all!